VOL. 2021, ISSUE: 10

Thanks again to DWEB for the beautiful pump of spray he showered upon us last week, and also for the PSA about PUMPAGANDA. You can't be too careful these days.

Also thanks to TOM for setting this bitch up online. This is awesome, and I'm excited to find out if I can do this without asking for your help (answer: no. Lol, I accidentally unpublished the entire site instead of just my one page)

Also also, not only is the PumpSpray now online - it's been cited in the circle of globalizt elitez:

NIGHTMOVERZ RECAP: these are old, but I don't want you guys to miss out

DWeb with the hot take when Q-Aron tested positive for COVID after lying about being "immunized"

Quick reminder not to conduct business before DWeb has risen

Not related to anything, but the default font for this google page creator is "Open Sans".... DWeb, did you do that on purpose to reference "a refreshing open face"?

Ok, enought about Dennis, we need to talk about playoffz because I think MARCO is right

I guess you can't really see that, but I wanted MARCO and BRANDON to get credit. It's showing the standings, in which 7 teams are at 6-4, and 3 are crying. Also, haha GEOFF being the only team in the BOTTOMS without a winning record

Could the end of the season hold more twists than an M Night Shyamalan movie?!?!

This one's for you, Dennis

I don't ever remember the standings being this close so late in the season, and it really feels like points-for will be the deciding factor. (Also, remember that despite what both ESPN and my charts n shit show, the playoffs will be adjusted to have two teams from the Topz, and two from the Bottomz.) (BRANDON, will the first round be Top vs Top and Bottom vs Bottom, with a Championship of Top vs Bottom? Or will you set it to two from each league, and let ESPN handle the rest? Cool either way, just curious if you were planning one thing or the other)

Anyway, with points in mind, here's the current heated race:

MARCO currently has VERRRY a comfortable lead in the TOPS, with his closest competition being TOM, who is 42.6 points behind, and then it's all BOTTOMS until you get to RAPH, at #7, who has over 100 fewer points-for. MARCO also is the only one to nearly dominate his division, being 4-1 against opponents in the TOPS

The BOTTOMS is much more interesting. Currently, it's EDWARD, GEOFF, GABE, and DWeb, all at 6-4, and all within 40 points-for of each other

Because I will not let an opportunity go by to point out that RAPH and I have basically equal points-for, with dramatic difference in records, here's the points against while we're at it. You'll notice I"m the only one over 1200-against, nearly 100 more than the next team. You'll also notice that DWeb is the only one UNDER 1000-against, nearly 80 fewer than #2 MARCO. DWeb is playing the long game - psyching us out thinking he had a draft wizzard, when really it was a schedule wizzard

MOVE OF THE WEEK:

GABE - Rhamondre Stevenson (25.4). You picked up the player that literally gave you the win, when you beat GEOFF by 7.2. That move puts you at 6-4, and within striking distance of DWeb for the 2nd playoff spot in the BOTTOMs

HONORABLE MENTION:

DWeb - Mark Ingram II (18.8). Made a wizard-wise decision to drop Trey Sermon's eventual donut for a 1 week rental of Mark Ingram. It wasn't enough to overcome TJ Hockens-0-n's 0 points, but still a good move

DISHONORABLE MENTION:

TIM - Carson Wentz (7.1) - There wasn't much you could do against MARCO this week, but making a better move could have at least prevented him from double-pumping you (aka, he more than doubled your score: 61.9 x 2 = 123.8 vs 139.5. He could've beaten you with 1 QB, 1 RB, 1 WR, and 1 TE)

NEW SEGMENT ALERT!

PUMP of the WEEK: for acknowledging the highest starting player score each week (my apologies to EDWARD for not creating this before King Henree got hurt)

DWeb - Patrick Mahomes (36.2)

DONUT DROPS:

DWeb - TJ Donutson

GEOFF - Mike Gotsicki

It's a work in progress


THIS WEEK IT'S GOOD TO BE:

MARCO - More than double TIM's score, and now the top of the TOPS

HONORABLE MENTION

TOM - the Nightmover with the longest win streak (3), and able to catch RAPH on a down-luck week. I gotta give it to you while I can, because I don't know how long you're going to hold onto that playoff spot while starting Adrian Peterson and Kenneth Gainwell, with nobody better on the bench

THIS WEEK IT SUCKS TO BE:

EDWARD - Lol, you lost to me, and I started Rashod Bateman, Van Jefferson, and Dan Arnold

CHARTS N SHIT

I forgot to add in the roster rankings and stuff last week, so I just entered this week's stuff in for last week, and then let that inform the rankings

The release of Taylor Swift's Lover album was the inspiration that started the "Power Rankings as" segment. So in honor of her taking back ownership and re-releasing Red, here is the original Power Rankings As, along with this week's

From 2019, week 1

2021, week 10