VOL. 2022, ISSUE: 13
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In honor of the World Cup, it's time for a round of everyone's favorite game!
NITEMOVER OR WORLD FAMOUS AMERICAN soccer PLAYER?!?!
(aka... NOW FAsP)
Actually, it's a trick question.
They're all GABE
Speaking of things that are rigged...
Current Playoffz Picture:
MARCO is in 1st with the league's best overall record
BRANDON currently gets the first round bye over ANDREAS, as he won the head-to-head matchup in Week 12
ANDREAS is currently the Bottomz division winner
GEOFF is 1st wildcard
And we have a 3-way tie for the 2 last playoffz spots between GABE, TIM, and DWeb
GABE beat both TIM and DWeb , so now that he's pumped out of the World Cup, he can focus on his playoff run
For the last spot
TIM beat DWeb twice - DWeb has more points-for, which is why the ESPN standings show him above TIM, but TIM will get the playoffz spot after the #DirtyCommish does his thing
The schedule and playoff scenarios this week:
This is the last week of the Fantazy regular season, but things could still change
Playoff Scenarioz
MARCO - can't lose 1st round bye, as no other team can get to 10 wins, but the other first round bye is still up for grabs between ANDREAS, GEOFF, and BRANDON
BRANDON and DWeb play each other for leader of the power bottomz
If GABE wins, he is in
DWeb is in an interesting position in that I think his options are either be division winner, or possibly pumped out of the playoffz entirely
Lastly, I think that RAPH actually has no road to the playoffz! He lost to GABE, DWeb, and TIM. They all could tie at 7-7, but then he would lose based on head-to-head. RAPH let me be the first to say, welcome to your first non-playoff, non-championship-game season!
Move of the week:
BRANDON – Browns D/ST (31) - a fitting color for the #BPE all over the BPE-originator, TOM
Honorable Mention
GABE – Matthew Wright (16) - you could've benched him and won, but still a good move all the same
Continuing Honorable Mention
MARCO – excellent use of the #1 waiver, as Christian Watson (22.9) continues to pump. Sitting on it most of the season seems to have paid off
Dishonorable Mention
ALEX – Samaje Perine (18.5) - with Joe Mixon out, you chose to:
bench the proven handcuff
drop Cam Akers (who went on to get 18.5 on GABE’s bench)
start Kyren Williams (.9)
That Ramz backfield is an unfortunate shot in the dark. We also should've warned you that RAPH used up all the beginner's luck when he joined
ANDREAS – Traded AJ Brown away to MARCO to receive Gabe Davis and Rhamondre Stevenson… AJ Brown outscored both of them combined this week in your loss to MARCO
But because I beat GEOFF you're still the division leader. If you win this year... you're welcome
Season Long Dishonorable Mention:
DWeb – JFC, even the Draft Wizard would put an injured player on IR and pick up a viable one. I even had notes for this before TOM rightfully started harrassing you about it in the chat. But hey, you know the saying...
PUMP of the Week:
ANDREAS – Jalen Hurts (34.4)
TOM – Davante Adams (33.7)
Lol, the teams with the two biggest pumps still lost, and those pumps were
Honorable Mention The One True Pump of the Week
BRANDON – Browns D/ST (31) AND Joe Burrow (30)
Pumped yourself into a first round bye
Dishonorable Mention
ALEX – Only two players scored double digits, and just barely at that – Aaron Rodgers (13.6) and Chris Godwin (10.3). That’s like a reverse TENDy. But also, you avoided a bottom 5 lowest score, which is what really matters, so you can forget this wee – well, season - ever happened.
GEOFF – Lamar Jackson (1.3) AND Walker III (3.6). With the division lead and a first round bye on the line, a double injury for Lamar and KW-III and a combined scored of 4.9 points is the ultimate example in the difference between pumping, and getting pumped
ANDREAS – Kelce (5.6) – what a week for Kelce to have only his second single-digit score of the season
This week it’s good to be:
BRANDON – with one fell swoop, you claimed the division lead, a first round bye, and your team is getting hot at the right time
Honorable Mention
MARCO – guaranteed to finish with the best record in the league… again
This week it sucks to be:
RAPH – Gould (18) and Geno Smith (22.9) on the bench, and with a loss to TIM by 7.7 points, you’re pumped out of the playoffz, and into your first non-playoff season. However if you win this week, you will be in the consolation bracket that has no chance of going to the Harris Bowl
Dishonorable Mention:
GEOFF – lol you got pumped by me
Charts 'N Shit
Weekly Pic of My Cat
For those of you who remember learning Italian from the Muzzy videos
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